The serenity prayer was the tool I had to turn to when Shane was in rehab for 30 days. I wasn’t a Christian yet , I wasn’t an alcoholic and I wasn’t in recovery but a friend shared this prayer with me during that very difficult and confussing time and it was the only thing that made any sense at the time.
Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change ,
courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
There is so much power in that small prayer.
I like to control things (most women , or moms do) so when Shane went to rehab I was lost. What was I suppose to do now? I had no communication with him for a whole week and I was fading fast. I wanted to help him, to care for him, to make sure he was doing it all “right.” Granted, I had no idea about rehab , recovery or anything in between but I was convinced that he needed my help. I had no control, and for me, that was a big problem. A year or so into Shane’s recovery I realized that I had hurts and hang ups. It was a time for me to learned somethings about myself as well, but that is for a whole other blog entry.
acceptance
The serenity prayer helped me to put it all into perspective. ACCEPT the things I can not change. I could not change the fact that the rehab Shane attended had a rule that I could not communicate with my husband for the first week. I could not CHANGE or control that. So, YES! please, “God, grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I can not change .” I can however change the way I am reacting to the situation. Instead of crying I could pray , instead of dwelling I could go on a walk or out to dinner with a friend.
courage
It definetly takes COURAGE to change the “things,” I do know that from experience. It’s the hardest thing to change in your own strength, that’s why this is a “prayer”, you are praying for the strength that lives inside you to come alive and give you courage to “change the things you can". I had NO control over the situation,but ALL the control in how I choose to handle it.
wisdom
The WISDOM to know the difference. Well that made all the sense to me, show me the difference between something I needed to accept or something I needed to change. I would do this by simply asking myself the question “Is this something I have control over?” I would have to be honest with myself because naturally I wanted control over it all. I would try to convince myself that there was a way that I didn’t have to accept it and I could change it. That did not work very well. I was only fooling myself and was stuck in this misery that only I could help myself out of, not the best approach, honesty truly is the best policy.
Peace
This sweet , small prayer carries a very powerful result. It reminds me to face reality as it is, be honest with myself and I know that I can’t do this in my own strength. I pray that as you read this you are able to find peace, acceptance and grace for your situation and trust God that he has a plan for this time in your life.
amen .
peace
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