Shane gets quite a few emails through the podcast from wives who are trying to navigate their own journey of loving their husband through their addiction. I decided to reflect on some ways that helped me through my husband’s time in rehab. I was able to recall a few things that hopefully, you will find helpful during this difficult time.
5 ways to Stay Strong In The Middle Of A Challenge;
1. Surround Yourself
As much as I wanted to curl up in my bed and cry all day , I couldn’t, life was still happening around me and I had a 3 year old daughter to take care of. Having the right people around who knew what was going on and were supportive was essential to this journey. Knowing that “the right people” may not always be your family or your best friend but could be people who love you, have walked through something similar and support you and your spouse’s decision and are there for support.
2. EXERCISE
Exercise was so great for my mental well being. At the time I had a gym membership and I was a psycho spin class attendee! It was a great way to release the stress, dump some endorphins and take a chunk out of my day where I wasn’t loathing in self pity.
3.journaling
To this day I still have the journal I wrote in everyday , many times a day while I was trying to process Shane being in rehab. Journaling is a great way to sort out thoughts while going through the hard stuff . I also love that I have those entries to look back on and see how far we have come OR maybe even what we are still struggling with.
4.Feel the feelings
This kind of connects to #3 (journaling). When you are journaling you are either already IN your feelings or you will be by the time you're done. I would encourage you to cry, be sad, be mad, be happy, be free, BE in the feelings that you are feeling. In my experience if I don’t feel the feelings they will turn to anxiety, panic or even worse, depression. At the time I didn’t know that “feeling” was good and healthy but I felt them anyway and I do remember finding some peace and release during that time. Find a place or some space that you can be free to feel during this time.
5. Let people bless
We were so blessed by family and friends during the time Shane was in rehab. We had family offering to pay bills, to take our daughter when needed, buy groceries, mow our lawn. They all really rallied around to help out and make it as comfortable as possible. I didn't understand how to accept the blessings that they were offering, sometimes it felt uncomfortable. A few years back we had a friend tell us to “Don’t take away someone’s blessing ” the people that are wanting to bless you may be walking through a time in their journey that this is what they are led to do. People are offering because they have already prepared to give the offering, you are not putting them out or asking for anything, they are offering . God often works through people, If you are praying for God to provide ect then you better be ready to accept the blessings. Imagine what it is like to WANT to give someone something but they don’t take it OR they make it very awkward to receive it, not the best feeling. Let people bless you.
The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light.
Isaiah 9:2
Shane and I did not have our faith to learn on during this time. As I write this I think of the phrase “going cold turkey.” We didn't know what a leap of faith would look or feel like. We were throwing everything to the wind and hoping something would stick. Shane did have a few spiritual encounters, that led him to his decision to go to rehab. We didn't have a plan or a firm foundation and by the grace of God He showed up for Shane in rehab and for me later in our journey. If you are living a life of faith now and you have Jesus as your foundation, It is time to lean on him like you never have before. It is time to trust him 100%.Give up control, take that leap, stop ignoring the confirmations that God has set before you. TRUST GOD. He will not disappoint and He is always faithful.
Stay strong
You got this
God is faithful
-Jessica Ramer
